Nag-iisa ka ba????

In this life, you can’t avoid gossip and unkind words from others…Whatever you do, you will never please everyone. Remember: If you’re not worth anything, they wouldn’t bother!!!!
Whenever you start or do something new, you would always face the challenge of adaptation and survival. Adaptation so you could tune yourself up to the entirety and familiarization of this whole new experience. Once you had adjusted, you’d face the challenge of staying and prolonging your welcome --- will you survive or/and if ever you survive, how long will it last?
I would bravely admit that I am facing this dilemma now. I'm having a hard time fitting in. I'm new to this company and I am used to establishing solid and intimate relationship with colleagues and wavemates. I mean I've been with several companies and I have yet to experience this, for I always find/establish solid relationship with them and keep in touch with them for years. A lot of them would still text me, send friendster PM's and email messages. Some of them still long to see me and miss my company so much that they're "nagtatampo" if I'm not able to fulfill my promise of seeing or visiting them. I'm new to an organization now and I have a lot of adjustments to do. I feel so isolated and alone. But I don't feel pathetic at all not because I have a close friend now who happened to be happy and content even if we’re the only close (like closest friend sa account namin)people here. Sure, there are times I am feeling bad about the whole thing and I couldn't seem to get a grip of what I'm going to be or how I'm gonna act just so I could please them and be accepted. I need not stoop that low and make a fool of myself. I need not push myself that hard because I know that I've done my share reaching out to them and when I got slighted once, it'd be their loss not mine, though that doesn't mean I ain't open to be their friend. I would always keep my door open and they need not knock, they would just have to enter.

I am eventually learning to love myself more. It really is a process, a long and hard process. I'm through living life trying to please people, you might, needless to say, lose yourself in the process. While it's true that you adjust so you could fit in, sometimes they won't just let you in no matter what, either they don't want you for one reason to another or they just don't want true,loving and lasting friends. You don't have to try that hard, there are billions of people on earth who would be more deserving and receptive, and if those people don't want to be associated with you, then it's no longer your loss. Negative people will never be positive until they undego electrolysis process of life but you don't have to mingle with them for they might corrupt the positivity and the inner beauty in you.

I won't say I'm unaltered or unaffected by what's happening (hindi naman ako si Mandy Moore sa fave kong movie na "A Walk to Remember") , but I know that I am a good person and that I have a lot to share and give. These people around me might not see it now but I won't plead them to accept me. As long as I am whole (and believe that I am), I don't need anyone to complete me. I love myself and I already have a lot of friends, friends for keeps (sobrang dami talga nila kaya hindi ko na iisa-isahin!!!). For all other issues I have in life, a bar of chocolate or a pint of ice cream will do or I would rush to the nearest mall and go straight to the food court (hmm...yummie food) --- pig out, sister!! (Give in to that carb craving!). And in the event you have a lot penny to splurge...go ahead and indulge!!!! Afterall, at the end of the day, you still have youself and God --- nothing could come in between and nothing and no one could destroy this relationship.

Why don't we say the mantra over again :
In this life, you can’t avoid gossip and unkind words from others…Whatever you do, you will never please everyone. Remember: If you’re not worth anything, they wouldn’t bother! (I added my won personal mantra!) The best way to fight back is to pull it off and hold it all together while everyone else is expecting you to give up and fall apart.
Ang taray di ba?! Ako pa? Si Janis de Asis pa, ang babaeng Amazona (sabi ni Jahnays)!

Recommended book : Winning Your Inner Struggles by Harold J. Sala