26 Things I discovered...and learned?

Today is my 26th birthday (yaiks, ang tanda ko na pala!). I've decided to come up with things I discovered throughout the 26 glorious years na nabuhay ako sa mundong ito. I used the word "discovered" dahil kapag sinabi kong "learned", ibig sabihin talagang magiging guiding principle ko na ito sa buhay. Actually, 'yong iba naman dito aren't totally new, parang re-discovery lang ang nangyari. Ilan sa list ay matitino, ang iba naman wala lang.

1. Things aren't always what they seem. Sometimes, we need to dig deeper, we need to pay attention to nuances and things that aren't obviously shown to have a better understanding on things. It's true that sometimes, we say things we don't really mean and try to hide what we really feel inside. While "What you see is what you get" sometimes is true, there are times when we fail to understand the reason why things happen because we focus more on what tends to be visible to the eyes.

2. Don't expect too much. The less your expectations are, the less chances you'll get hurt. Don't keep your hopes too high. Sabi nga nila, expect the unexpected di bah?

3. Life is unfair. Hay, ano pa nga ba? Minsan parang mas masaya ang mga taong gumagawa ng masama. Laging nakikita 'yong mga pangit sa'yo, 'yong mga maling ginagawa mo over your good deeds, your good qualities.

4. People will fail you. Believe me, at one point,even the people you trust the most will betray you, would let you down,would hurt you.

5. Life itself, is irony. Sabi nga ng song, "kung sinong mahal mo siyang ayaw sa 'yo". Sabi pa ni Alanis, "it's like meeting the man of your dreams and then meeeting his beautiful wife". Sabi pa ng iba,"kung sino pa ang nagpaiyak sa'yo, 'yun dun ang taong nagpapasaya sa'yo". Eh ganon talaga!

6. You cannot please everyone, you never will, even if you try real hard. I have come yo admit na may mga tao yatang pinanganak para mainis sa'yo, magalit sa'yo kahit wala ka talagang ginawang masama sa kanila, or kahit wala kang ginawa at all.

7. No one has or was given the right to intimidate you. This is my personal credo about intimidation "You only get initimidated if you're not secure of who you are."

8. May mga bagay na kahit anong paliwanag, hindi mo talaga maintindihan. Pero may mga bagay na naiindihan mo kahit walang paliwanag.

9. Tama si Oprah "“If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay". Tama na ang ilusyon. Tama na ang kaiisip sa mga sandamakmak na what if's sa buhay mo! Tama na! Sobra na! Ang sinabi na ito ni OPRAH ay isang SAMPAL na gumising sa natutulog kong isipan at umalog sa namamahinga kong puso. Ayoko ng umasa! Ayokoooooo na! Reality bites...it hurts!

10. It's hard not to fight back, not to get even. Mahairap talgang maging mabait. Minsan, ang hirap manahimik lang at huwag gumanti lalo na at magiging worse lang ang situation. Pero minsan mahirap talaga to shut up and suppressed the growing anger that's building up inside you. But we must dahil ang pumatol sa baliw, mas baliw! Hahaha... Iniisip ko na lang lagi "Hinding hindi ako bababa sa level nila.Hmp!"

11. We have to reward ourselves. How about buying something for yourself once in a while? Dati hindi ko makita ang point sa pagbibigay ng reward sa sarili, until napagod ako at nabulagan sa fruits ng labor ko. Akala ko nagtatrabaho lang ako for nothing. Feeling ko, napupunta lahat sa family ko (not that it's a bad thing) pero nakakapagod din lalo na kung walang natitira sa'yo. That's when I decided na kailangang magtira ako para sa sarili ko. This is also applicable sa love, kailangang mahalin mo ang sarili mo at magtira ka, 'wag all the way, 'wag "I'll give you everything", 'wag mo ibigay ang 100%, para pag natapos na ang lahat and it didn't turn out right, may natira pa sa'yo. Para buo ka pa din, buong buo pa din ang pagkatao mo.

12. You don't and won't always get what you want. Minsan, the things you want the most are the things you're being deprived of, things that are taken from you. It's one sad fact we should learn to live with, to live in.

13. It's true na some good things never last, malalaman mo ang worth ng isang tao o bagay when you lose it/him/her; there are times na some good things won't even start. Lesson : Embrace life as it comes.

14. Hindi totoo ang kasabihang "Beauty is useless but character is the best." C'mon, magpakatotoo naman tayo, just this once! Although in the long run, mas mahalaga ang "substance", hindi ba nagsisimula lahat sa physical attraction, sa "intrigue", kaya na-engganyo ka to know a person better? It's this "intrigue" or "mystique" that'll draw you to someone.

15. Kung hindi talaga para sa'yo, kahit ano'ng pilit mo, hindi magiging sa'yo. If it's bound to happen, it's gonna happen; if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Kahit mag-novena ka pa buong taon, maglakad nang nakaluhod sa Quiapo at hindi kumain ng ilang centuries, may mga bagay na hindi talaga para sa atin. Should we let go? We must.

16. There will always be "some people" - people who would always hinder, humper and would never let you be happy and would never leave you in peace. Part sila ng buhay mo and they would always bother you unless you allow them and until you learn to disregard them like trash. My personal mantra ako dito,"Difficult people are like sandpapers, they may rub you painfully. But they would end up worn out and you'll end ep well polished"! Bongga!

17. There are things, facts that are just so hard to accept, but we must. These are the things that we don't have any control over. They just happen, we have to let them be.

18. I am one of the few lucky people in this world. Everywhere I go, I always come across meeting true people, true friends, true gems. I've hopped from one job to another, but I've made it my point not to leave that company without touching lives and adding names to my list called "friends".

19. May mga bagay na mahirap talagang kalimutan. Either dahil talagang intergral part na sila ng life mo or talagang ayaw mo lang kalimutan.

20.There's a price for everything. Walang libre sa mundo. If we wanna take something, we should also give something back. Hindi tamang tanggap lang ng tanggap, kuha lang ng kuha, kelangang magbigay din. It's like saying that once you let yourself love a person, kailangang handa kang masaktan, pero masaya ka naman habang nagmamahal ka di ba?

21. Kapag lumalaki ang source of income mo, lumalaki lalo ang mga expenses mo. My first job was with Link2Support, and for the record, my initial salary then was P 8000, pero masaya ako noon. I was able to eat out with my supahfriends Aimz, Ruth, Malen, Pring and Chele. Jahnays and I was able to go 'lil shopping at times. I was paying my younger bro's tuition fee, plus the monthly bills. Naka-survive naman ako. Pero ngayon, hello? It feels like hell living paycheck to paycheck.

22. Sometimes, there's no day but today. Minsan kasi we forget to live in today, we continue to live either in the past or the future. By looking back or fast tracking tomorrow, nalilimutan natin to live in the moment kaya tuloy may mga bagay tayong na-i-ignore, things we forget to pay much attention at, thus, losing the opportunity to enjoy life and be happy. Minsan sa sobrang pag-dwell natin sa pasts, sa mga regrets, sa mga mistakes, may mga opportunites na dumadaan lang, na puwedeng hindi na ulit ibigay sa atin. And may mga bagay na ina-anticipate mo pa lang, nauunsiyami dahil sa kapalpakang pinaggagawa mo today.

23. Don't complain or you'll never stop complaining, for there's so much in life to complain about. There was a time sa buhay ko when every night na lang before I report for work, I would rant about something, from the taxi driver, salesclerk in the mall, your neighbor, traffic, etc... I always have a complaint about almost everything in this world. Then it dawn on me that it's becoming a pattern, like kailangang mairita ako or magalit ako everyday. Napansin ko na mas madali akong magalit, madaling mairita, madaling maasar at madalas kong nakikita 'yong sarili kong dakdak nang dakdak dahil sa napakaliit na bagay. Napakadali kong ma-provoke. More than ever, that was the time that I was the best candidate to an anger management program. At dahil sobrang mareklamo ako no'n, wala na akong nakitang maganda, wala na akong nakitang tama, lahat na lang mali, lahat pangit, lahat negative. Hindi ako makapag-perform nang maayos sa trabaho. Madalas akong nagagalit sa mga kapatid ko, I had very little patience and feeling ko para akong bombang sasabog any moment. I suddenly felt old but immature.I decided na hindi na 'yon healthy, I had to change or else, it might be too late!

24. Tears comfort the heart and cleanse the soul. One of the nicest things I've learned from Leo Buscaglia is the undermined power of tears. I find true strength in crying. May mga bagay kasi na hindi nadadaan sa usapan. May mga bagay na kahit anong discussion mo with friends, kahit anong hanap mo ng words of wisdom para ma-resolve ang kung ano mang bumabagabag sa loob mo, ma-e-ease lahat kapag umiyak ka. This is the reason why I always say na iyakin ako, sobra, but that doesn't mean na whimpy ako, na sobrang weak ako. There are really times na kapag hindi ko na kaya, I just let it out and cry. For me, sa bawat patak ng luha, parang nadi-discharge lahat ng negative energy, lahat ng negative feelings na nagpapabigat sa loob ko.

25. There comes a point in a person's life when you'd get fed up. Kahit gaano ka katapang, kahit gaano ka kalakas, kahit akala mo kaya mo lahat, darating at darating sa point na mapapagod ka. Mapapagod kang lumaban. Mapapagod kang maging okay. Maging malakas. Mapapagod kang sumubok. Mapapagod kang maging matatag. Mapapagod ka. Period. Kailangan lang naman magpahinga. Tapos mare-realize mo na ready ka na ulit to continue your journey.

26. Count your blessings, NOT YOUR AGE!

Things learned from intergender friendships

Things learned from intergender friendships
By Mariel G. Calalo
YOU contributor

THE PREMISE of this article lies on the principle that sometimes,
loving a person doesn't mean it has to be romantic and loving a person for the
rest of your life doesn't mean you have to end up marrying them. Can a man
and a woman just be friends? I'd say yes and they should be.

Hindi dahil kinaibigan ka, liligawan ka na. Not every guy who befriends
you has an ulterior motive. Get over yourself. Don't flatter yourself.
There is a reason why he befriended you, but don't automatically assume that
it's because he wants to be your so-called boyfriend. If this will be the
principle you'll follow every time someone asks you to be his friend,
you're gonna miss a great deal from the friendship.

Hindi dahil mabait sa iyo, nililigawan ka na. There are people who are
naturally sweet and kind. There are people who are innately good and no
matter how wicked you seem, they just find it so easy to be kind to
you. It doesn't mean he is courting you. Don't put yourself through unnecessary
stress trying to figure out if he's courting you or not. Because I
think if he is, you won't have to guess, you'll know and you'll be very certain
about it.

Hindi dahil he talks to you a lot, he loves you na. You don't befriend
a person if you absolutely abhor him, right? Chances are you make sense
when he talks to you, or you're probably very patient listening to him. The
two of you probably connect on some level but why does it always have to be
assumed to be romantic? Being two intelligent, mature human beings, you
need to accept that it's nice to share a cup of coffee over a stimulating
conversation, and that you don't have to automatically put romantic
connotation to it. Relieve yourself of the pressure. It's just coffee
and a shared interest.

Hindi dahil cute ang friend mo, crush/love mo na siya. This is the most
amusing thing that hit me lately. People always assume that because
your friend is cute or should I say, hot (because cute is a word you
describe your high school crush while hot is a word you use to describe a hunk),
"lakas amats mo na for repapips!" Let me just say this, at least from
my own personal experience, I'm just nearsighted, I haven't gone blind. I can
still appreciate God's creation! However, there will always be weird things,
crazy things, stupid things that will keep you, believe me, from having a
crush on him. First of all, you'd know his history with women, enough to judge
what's good for you. Second, don't you just hate it when a guy who's
absolutely always put together, who looks intelligent enough pronounces the word
country as "kawntri" and the word mango as "meynggo." Call me crazy for
judging a person just because he can't pronounce these words right. I
admit,I'm crazy.

Hindi dahil you hang out with each other most of the time, you'd end up
being boyfriend-girlfriend. Self-explanatory... There are a thousand,
no million different reasons why things don't always turn out that way.
There is no one proven formula. For all we know, the reason why he likes
hanging out with you is because he likes getting kikay tips from you. He
probably plans on being kikay himself and he needs a mentor.

A dinner with a guy friend does not necessarily mean equate to a date.
Especially if you're paying for your share no. Hello? Three things to
consider: the place, the topic and how the two of you actually planned
to meet. First, how it was planned. If it were a date expect that he would
ask you out at least three days before the actual date to give you some
lead time, to give you the notion that you are not just a filler on his
schedule. Second, the place. If it were a real date, the both of you would want
real food and a place where you could really talk things through. Don't go
out with a guy to a movie on Friday night if you're really serious about
him. Going to a movie is more like treating him like a "filler" just because
you had nothing to do on a Friday night so you might as well go out. Topic.
Ha! You wouldn't be talking about chikang artista, chikang opisina or argue
if the one girl's boobs are real or not. You would be probably talking
about sensible, quite personal stuff.

I therefore conclude that platonic relationships are never complicated;
people just have tendencies to complicate them!

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